The Daily Comb Over - January 17, 2018

Did you see it?

What do you mean, "see what?"

It was only the grandest, most stupendous, huuuugggggeeeesssstttt event of the year: The Fake News Awards!

And the FAKE NEWS winners are...https://t.co/59G6x2f7fD

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 18, 2018

Oh, of course you missed it. The GOP website has been down for hours.

So fake!

So instead, let's focus on some real news: the impending recession. One sure sign of a recession is clusters of mass layoffs occurring across multiple industries. In the last month, we've had reports of:

1. 12,000 jobs lost at GE
2. 10,000 jobs lost at Macy's
3. 9,000 jobs lost at Sam's Club... ok just more from Walmart.
4. 3,000 jobs lost at Walmart
5. 2,000 jobs lost at Tenet
6. 1,600 jobs lost at GM
7. 1,515 jobs lost at AT&T
8. More than 1,000 jobs lost at Allergan
9. 600 jobs lost at UAMS
10. 300 jobs lost at Pfizer
11. And last but not least, 215 more jobs lost at Carrier -- someone tell this lady that Trump screwed her.

All in all, that's roughly 42,000 jobs lost.

If any of you have heard about any other layoffs, please leave a comment below.

Catch you on the flip side.