The Daily Comb Over - January 8, 2018

About a year ago I began writing the Comb Over as a way to document the daily goings of Dear Leader.  Shortly after he took office, satire gave way to shock then fear and then finally to a call to resist.  And now after an extended family leave, the Comb Over returns to report that Trump really doesn't do all that much on a daily basis.

Oh sure, he has lots of "executive time." Which of course gives us such gems as:

I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018

Quality tweets twoops like that are only part of his executive time routine.  He also sacrifices his own time to watch and recap Fox and Friends every morning. We can in fact surmise that today's episode was all about how lucky black and brown people are to have Trump in the White House:

African American unemployment is the lowest ever recorded in our country. The Hispanic unemployment rate dropped a full point in the last year and is close to the lowest in recorded history. Dems did nothing for you but get your vote! #NeverForget @foxandfriends

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 8, 2018

Someone really needs to remind Brian Kilmeade that President Obama isn't just a figment of his imagination.  He really does exist and he really did spend 8 years fixing the economy.  Of course, this is part of a recurring theme:

The African American unemployment rate fell to 6.8%, the lowest rate in 45 years. I am so happy about this News! And, in the Washington Post (of all places), headline states, “Trumps first year jobs numbers were very, very good.”

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018

I'll say it for you, "Thanks Obama!"

Does he Twoop on a Trump Toilet?

And while global media has been reporting on Trump forgetting the words to the national anthem yet again, I'm a little more concerned that the Fontange Fuhrer's ego is getting so big that he's publicly demanding gratitude for giving people the privilege to vote for him:

Trump: Farmers 'so lucky I gave you that privilege' to vote for him for president https://t.co/NbNkdytCzd

— Tennessean (@Tennessean) January 8, 2018

Remember when Ivanka was supposed to be in the White House to keep that ego in check? If you were wondering how she's been letting him get away with the twoop surge, she's been far too busy trying to figure out where she left her own self-awareness:

Just saw @Oprah's empowering & inspiring speech at last night’s #GoldenGlobes. Let’s all come together, women & men, & say #TIMESUP! #United https://t.co/vpxUBJnCl7

— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) January 9, 2018

Catch you on the flip side.