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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The Daily Combover - February 1, 2017

February is here! And that means a lot of white people who don't care about black people will make a lot of statements that they'll forget about in March.  February also includes President's Day which, this year, will mark a nationwide general strike in protest of the Fontange Fuhrer.

So let's see what Trump's been up to today.

He woke up this morning and appears to have slipped back into Russian grammar. Yes, Herr Fuhrer, we keep them "out of country."
And then he made a statement about Black History Month that involved a lot of praise for himself , his good friend Fredrick Douglass, and a rant about a statue of MLK.

In case you missed it, here is how he opened:
Well, the election, it came out really well. Next time we’ll triple the number or quadruple it. We want to get it over 51, right? At least 51.
Well this is Black History Month, so this is our little breakfast, our little get-together. Hi Lynn, how are you? Just a few notes. During this month, we honor the tremendous history of African-Americans throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right? And their story is one of unimaginable sacrifice, hard work, and faith in America. I’ve gotten a real glimpse—during the campaign, I’d go around with Ben to a lot of different places I wasn’t so familiar with. They’re incredible people. And I want to thank Ben Carson, who’s gonna be heading up HUD. That’s a big job. That’s a job that’s not only housing, but it’s mind and spirit. Right, Ben? And you understand, nobody’s gonna be better than Ben.
Last month, we celebrated the life of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., whose incredible example is unique in American history. You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office. It turned out that that was fake news. Fake news. The statue is cherished, it’s one of the favorite things in the—and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln, and we have Jefferson, and we have Dr. Martin Luther King. But they said the statue, the bust of Martin Luther King, was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched. So I think it was a disgrace, but that’s the way the press is. Very unfortunate.
I am very proud now that we have a museum on the National Mall where people can learn about Reverend King, so many other things. Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and millions more black Americans who made America what it is today. Big impact.
Bold emphasis mine. Clearly those lessons from Kellyanne have paid off. He can pivot anything back to his election "victory." And here he is with his Black friend:
They so crazy!

And around 3PM, he just left aboard Marine One. Well that's weird. Then again, Mark Burnett is in town, so it could just be a producers' meeting for the next season of The Apprentice. See? Trump's so hard working that he has two (or more) jobs. Before you ask, no conflict of interest there at all. He's just using federal resources to conduct private business. It's like the time he made money off government contracts and then didn't pay taxes for two decades. Everything's on the up and up.  Leave Donnie Alone!

UPDATE: It turns out he visited the remains of the soldier killed in Yemen this week. That death was speculated to have occurred in retaliation for the #MuslimBan, but jihadists like claiming deaths for anything in the news.

With the whole afternoon free, let's think about calling Senator Dean Heller to get him  Deb Fisher whose seat is up in 2018 to be the tie-breaking vote against Betsy DeVos. Come on, Senator. If Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski are voting no, so can you!

UPDATE2: Hey NV voters, Dean Heller needs to be sent packing. What the heck? Send him to an early retirement with his good pal Joe Heck.

UPDATE3: We'll that didn't last long. It took Trump less than two weeks to threaten war with Mexico and run off another ally -- Australia. Mission Accomplished!

I'll close with a link to the definition of combover on Urban Dictionary, complete with a classic picture of the Fontange Fuhrer.

Catch you on the flip side.