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Sunday, January 22, 2017

The Daily Combover Weekend Edition - January 22, 2017

Our Dear Leader was especially active in his first weekend. After vowing to build a wall and enact term limits in his first day, he instead built a path for Congress to end healthcare and repealed housing subsidies for Middle Class households.

All of us eagerly awaited his next actions. Would we have to wait until Monday? Dear Leader only sleeps four hours when he is bored in the middle of the night, so we held out hope that he'd rain down ruin on us even sooner. And sure enough we were not let down.

We'll begin Saturday morning. Trump's inauguration drew upwards of 250,000 people to DC, though it was pretty clearly that nearly half of the visitors had been protesters. By Saturday, the supporters had withdrawn and in their place stood nearly half a million people set to headline the Women's March on Washington. Millions more joined them in support marches and rallies around the world (in all seven continents). Estimates in LA, NY, and Chicago were in the hundreds of thousands and smaller cities had crowds in the tens of thousands.

All in all, this wasn't something Dear Leader wanted to see so after a quick trip to the salon, he got into the motorcade and was greeted by his adoring fans on the way to a photo-op at the CIA.
They just love him! Look at how their pink hats bring the orange tones out in his skin. Beautiful!

He loved it so much that he had a staff member (check out the proper usage of grammar and punctuation) tweet out a message of support the day after the march:
 After all, just an hour prior he had just tweeted this:
And you thought Dear Leader didn't believe in democracy!

The remainder of the weekend has been focused on just how much his tremendous supporters can't get enough of his big beautiful hair. He sent Press Secretary Sean Spicer out the confront the lying media who just couldn't help but downplay how large of a crowd he had. And even if that Kenyan Usurper had a bigger turnout to his inauguration, Trump beat him on TV ratings.
Oh wait, no he didn't.

But whether he is honered or honored to serve as our leader, rest assured that American Carnage is coming.

Catch you on the flip side.

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